


Shikake waza (initiate)

by AxZi



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: (it's Mochida), (it's not Mochida), Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Asexual Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Dying Will, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Friendship, Kendo, Male Protagonist, Mystery, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, The Mochida Remix Nobody Asked For, The Reincarnation Remix Nobody Asked For, Trans Female Character, asshole protagonist, the mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 15:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8106808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AxZi/pseuds/AxZi
Summary: Shikake waza, or initiate.On his second round as one of the living, Kensuke Mochida (as has been his name for quite some time now) is a bully, and unrepentant asshole--With Issues. But then he starts noticing something isn't quite right with Tsuna, his previous victim. It might be connected to the dreams he's having, but he's not sure. Reincarnation really has screwed the pooch in this one.





	

“ANOTHER!”

The voice snapped into Kensuke’s ear. He had to raise the sword, clammy hands clasped around the handle. Holding on tightly so it wouldn’t slip.

“Good.”

Intimidatingly close, his father towered over him. The man raised the sword as well, but unlike Kensuke, he didn’t just keep it hovering there.

Kensuke was aware of the sharp glint of the sword, and swallowed. Making sure the bob of his adam’s apple wasn’t noticeable to his father’s searching eyes.

A slide backwards with his foot. He held his arm back too, keeping his elbows crooked and the tip of his sword lowered. With his other hand, he received the blow as steel smashed against steel. His muscles spasming, twitching inside their encasement of flesh.

His father drew his sword back. Narrowed yellow eyes as watchful as any predatory birds’ held him statutory. He stopped his shoulders from jumping, though they wanted to curl underneath the man’s regard.

Kensuke knew very well that if he showed any sign of weakness, this facade would continue on even into dinner time. And if he did it again, even into night-time, and his mom too weak to stop it.

He didn’t relax when softness slipped into the man’s visage, dropping one hand off his sword to lower it to his side.

A clasp on his shoulder, a voice rumbling in Kensuke’s ear. “You did well today, son. I expect you’ll keep this up tomorrow, too.”

The dismissal wasn’t a physical thing, but he could nevertheless hear it in his father’s voice.

_Finally._

Behind the privacy screen, Kensuke started stripping himself from his gear. Without all that oppressive armour on him, and his head free to breathe in air unguarded again, he more resembled a fish than his father.

 _I’m perfectly happy with that._ After all, his father was that piece of shit who had just left the room after sharing with him his daily judgement on Kensuke’s prowess.

 _It’s the usual._ Every day, from the moment he came back from school, to dinner time when his weak mother had a feast ready....his father would ambush him again and force him into the family’s old war gear.

_Not that I always have dinner._

There were days when his father was stricter than usual. When no matter what Kensuke did, he couldn’t quite match up to the man’s expectations.

In those days, these sessions lasted beyond dinner time. Sometimes he wouldn’t even go to bed as usual, because the sessions would last throughout the night. _And mother smiles and complies._

His mother never helped.

His mother...the woman who called herself that, like his dad called himself Kensuke’s dad, was undeniably weak. From sun-up to sunset, she was like an automaton who did the domestic work and aimed to please her husband. She’d cook the food he liked. They’d watch the shows he liked. They’d go out and attend the events the man liked.

There was no stubborn bone in the woman’s body, and she had never stuck out for Kensuke either. So he had written her down as weak, as that was what she was.

_But life hasn’t always been this way._

 Long ago-longer than he could remember, though it sometimes felt like he’d been in this **hell** for always and forever-he remembered thinking he could remember a mother and a father and a brother and sister who weren’t dad and mother and nobody else.

He thought he could remember a reflection dissimilar to his own but it had undoubtedly been his own after all. A man of average height wearing woman’s clothing. Purple lipstick on thin lips on a wan face which didn’t suit it.

A scarf, wrapped around a sculpted neck, to hide the Adam’s apple underneath.

And he hadn’t understood. But even then, he could remember a family of support. Of people calling him by a female name to go with the female look. Of his sister calling him ‘sis’ with a cheerful tone of voice. Of a brother who did the same, though with a tone of exuberance the soft spoken former lacked.

 _And I ache for something similar._ Not the scarf or the lipstick, but the camaraderie behind it all. He felt fit in this body a way he hadn’t back then, he was faintly sure. Felt at home in it, at peace in it.

 _I’d give it all up if I could have them back._ The atmosphere...the entire world which **something** had snatched away from him.

Stuck him here instead, with a family of rot.

 _And I’ve become one of them_.

He guessed he should be ashamed. Previous him, whoever he’d been—he had the distinct feeling they had been one of integrity. Though they’d been prickly and sensitive and easily hurt and that’s why not many people had wanted to meet with them.

Nevertheless, they wouldn’t have done something as shitty as bully a fellow classmate. _But that doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong._

If anyone else had been in such a situation, they’d act the same. _Right?_ They’d also take out their pent up aggression on others. And he wasn’t even doing like his dad was—wasn’t forcing them to endure physical trauma over many periods of time. **Every. Single. Day.**

Wasn’t shoving their powerlessness down into their throat. Wasn’t destroying every single outlet he had, so he couldn’t reach out to anyone for help. Didn’t say it was for their own good, that if only they weren’t so weak—if only they didn’t take after their mom in that regard and shake and shudder and let vomit splash all over the tatami mats just from a little sparring—

 _I don’t._ Kensuke wasn’t doing anything wrong.

If someone like him—like the person he’d once been, could become like this, he was assured that everyone else in his situation would act the same. _So they already deserve it, right?_ In a world that wasn’t the this one, where they had been chosen, he was sure they’d also bully others for their own peace of mind.

 _They have it coming._ Everyone in the entire world. Everyone in **this** entire world.

_They deserve it._

Kensuke didn’t doubt they were all like him inside. So it was fine.

Finished putting on his clothes, Kensuke left the room. He clicked the door shut behind him, leaving the tatami mats (stained with the blood of many beatings) in darkness.

 

“Oh hey Mochida!” Grinning coquettishly, Kurokawa Hana ambushed him just as he was about to leave the classroom.

Kensuke blinked down at the girl’s purple head of hair. _Just what does she want with me?_

But he didn’t have a long time to wait.

“Mochida,” Hana said, through the foolish grin on her face which made her look like a fox. It didn’t go with the purple hair. He’d have expected orange for that.

“You like Kyoko-chan, don’t you? I’ve noticed you’ve been starting staring after her with such a lovelorn look on your face!”

After saying that, Kurokawa let out a lovelorn sigh herself. It had the effect of making her look desperate.

 _She’s not completely wrong._ Even if the conclusion she had drawn, was. Kensuke had indeed been staring after Kyoko these days.

The auburn haired girl was such a mess of sparkles and goodwill towards the world, like the world was something to be deliriously happy about, that she’d caught his eye.

But that didn’t mean he was in love with her. _In fact,_ Kensuke thought to himself as Hana prattled on something about Yamamoto— _it’s the opposite._

Besides, she’d only caught his eye because he’d noticed his usual victim’s flustered reactions when around her. His crush. So he’d been curious about what kind of person deadbeat Tsuna was attracted to. _It didn’t disappoint._

Sasagawa Kyoko was exactly the sort of person he’d been expecting. For such a weak creature such as Tsuna, like attracts like after all.

“Hey!”

Kensuke snapped back to attention, to see a moue decorating Kurokawa’s face.

“You’re not listening to me at all,” she complained, pushing at his chest with her balled fists. She was wrinkling his blazer, so he caught her by the wrists.

“Please, stop it, Kurokawa-san.” The threat lay in not so much the words, as the way his voice came out in a snap.

She didn’t take the threat seriously. “Then you need to listen to me next time, Mochida! It is my best friend you’re crushing on you know. I could make things far more difficult for you, you know!”

Kensuke let his breath rattle out from his teeth, struggling not to snap at her more. _I’m going to have to meet up with Tsuna sometime today,_ he thought to himself, as he retracted his grip from her wrists.

The irritating girl without the notion of personal space let out a nod of acceptance. He fought not to break his fist into the smug twist of her lips.

 _Not girls._ They were the only people he didn’t beat up. _I’m not my father._

“As I was saying—“ her voice as smug as her expression, Kurokawa went on to say ask whether his ‘best friend’ Yamamoto was still single. And if he was, maybe he’d be good to use for the double date he and Kyoko and Kurokawa were going to go on?

 _Wait, wait a minute._ “Double date?” Since when had Kensuke signed up for that? And since when had he even wanted to go on a date with sparkle-san of all people?

The noise Kurokawa let out reminded him faintly of a choking pigeon. “Mochida! You really weren’t listening to me—I told you that just a minute ago! Friday—tomorrow—both me and Kyoko have off. And though Kyoko isn’t very interested in you, she’s willing to try at least one date. Are you getting this?” She poked him on the chest.

He was now grinding his teeth, inwardly feeling a lot like a kettle boiling over. “Are you getting **this** Kurokawa-san? I do not want a double date—or any kind of date—with Kyoko. Besides, I’m not friends with Yamamoto, so you’ll just have to look for someone else to pawn Kyoko out to.”

She gasped in outrage, a powdered white hand flying to her face. “You’re not best friends with Yamamoto? Why didn’t you say that before I got my hopes up!” Squaring her shoulders, the girl pivoted on her feet and stomped her outrage while marching away.

Kensuke watched her go. _Kurokawa, that isn’t what you’re supposed to be scandalised about._ What an awful girl. It only heightened his certainty that the world was filled with assholes. _Who deserve what is coming for them._ Like for example him.

 _That reminds me._ Stepping further out of the classroom, he turned around and started walking down the hallway. His head swivelling as he looked for his cowardly victim.

He found the boy with a head of hair that’d have a saiyan envious and a scrawny frame fit only to serve as someone’s bookmark, eating his lunch at the foot of some steps. He was alone, but that was usual. Everyone knows to avoid Tsuna, if only not to avoid become a victim of bullying yourself.

If he hadn’t been one of the kid’s bullies, Kensuke would have done the same.  He cleared his throat.

“HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!”

Letting out a scream, the kid spun around and shot up. His lunch ended up flying over his shoulders, splattering the staircase with rice particles and runny egg. Not a moment after the fiasco, to add insult to injury, the kid tripped over his own shoelaces when he tried to run and instead ended up knocking his chin against the floor in front of Kensuke’s shoes.

 _See?_ This was why Kensuke couldn’t leave the knock-off saiyan alone. He was honestly doing the world a public service, bullying the kid and alienating him from his classmates to eradicate the stupidity that otherwise might infect the gene pool.

Kensuke squatted in front of him, nudging him with his boot. The kid let out a sound like a balloon deflating. “Ah, are you alright?” He didn’t exactly want to have ‘involuntary man slaughterer’ on his record. He did want a job eventually, if only to escape the hellhole that was his father’s tutelage.

The kid scrambled up, and began frantically crawling backwards. The mouth section of his face was completely covered in blood, which was also dripping over his shirt.

 _Pitiful._ Kensuke refused to feel guilty. _Very pitiful._ It refused to work.

He heaved a sigh. “Fine. I won’t do anything right now,” he promised the wreck, and stood up again shoving his hands in his pockets. “You know where the nurse’s office is?”

A nod from the still shaking wreck.

“And you’ll be fine getting there on your own?”

An even more fervent nod from the wreck, blood spraying. Including over his white slacks.

Kensuke’s eye twitched. _Annoying_. But he simply sighed again, working his jaw to stop himself from tormenting the wreck any further. He wasn’t going to be the reason the kid, who people knew for a fact he targeted at least twice a week, would die from blood loos.

“Who are you even kidding? No way you’d be able to walk there on your own.”

 _No helping it._ Reaching out for the kid, though he was shaking his head left and no in his distress, Kensuke pulled him towards him and draped the knobbly frame over his shoulder in a fire man carry.

Faintly, he could hear the kid let out a low key version of his first scream.

 _He weighs absolutely nothing,_ Kensuke couldn’t help but think. He frowned. Even for a scrawny kid, the wreck should still weigh more than this.

Mumbling underneath his breath, and turning in the direction of the medic bay, he tried remembering how much he had weighed two years ago.

Come to think of it, how much did the kid eat in a day? Kensuke couldn’t remember at all ever seeing him eat his lunch—in fact, he often contributed to those who stole the wreck’s lunch. And he definitely was not the only one to do that.

_Adding the two days I bully him, and the times I’m not there—_

Does he ever actually eat his lunch?

The guilt that had already swanned up from the hole he stuck most things in his mind he didn’t want to think about, beat its wings and rattled his insides.

 _No, I refuse._ Kensuke refused. To feel bad about this. _Too late,_ flashed through his mind like a stop sign. _It’s already happening._

Fuck.

He reached the medic bay and adjusting the hold he had on Tsuna, he knocked on the door.

_Fuck._

 

_Darkness. Liquid, on feet, hands. Skin._

_A floating girl and brown hair spilling out from her like a waving flag._

_“Hello.”_

_“...Hello.”_

_A shy look, prompting a giggle._

_Kensuke (though he wasn’t Kensuke then--not really) looked around._

_“Who are you?”_ Where are we?

_“Who are you?” The girl giggled. Sand between the webs of his toes, and bubbles rising from her lips._

_She took a step towards him and he mirrored that movement. “We’re the same.”_

_“We are?”_

_The girl’s hair fell down to her waist. Her chest went up and down as she breathed._

_“I hate you.”_

 

Kensuke woke up with a start, heavy gulping breaths escaping him as his heart thumped like a rabbit’s feet.

He sat up. “What the hell....was that?”

He tasted ashes on his tongue—no, that wasn’t right. Not ashes, but something worse.

Kensuke blocked it out in his mind, shoving it down that dark pit.

_Just a dream._

Nothing to worry about.

The legs of his bed groaned as he sat up, shoving his blankets to the side. He already knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.

An idle glance at the clock revealed it was five pm, anyway. A perfectly natural time to wake up at.

Feet shuffling against carpet, he went to check his closet for a clean school uniform to wear.

Afterwards, he tiptoed down the stairs for the kitchen. _Dad’s probably already up._ He froze at the foot of it. He hadn’t thought about it, but the possibility was there. His dad could be in the parlour—

 _Don’t be paranoid,_ Kensuke scolded himself. Either way, since it wasn’t afternoon yet, his father wouldn’t try and force him into another dojo session. Kensuke was perfectly safe.

He crept into the room to find it empty.

_See? Nothing to worry about._

Tiptoeing the last of the floor, he opened the door to make himself a sandwich.

The dream was still on his mind. Though he’d tried forcibly not thinking about it, it kept popping to the forefront of his mind like something nobody had asked for.

 _Why?_ It’s not as if he’d understood what happened inside of it. They’d been underwater, Kensuke and the girl. _It’s not possible,_ he thought as he gnawed on his sandwich. Except that it most likely was—the girl was the one he remembered **being** so long ago. Even sans scarf.

And she hated him. Which was ridiculous.

Even she herself had admitted they were the same. She and him, they were Kensuke. They were what his weak mother and despicable father had turned them into.

_Don’t think about Tsuna—_

Too late. Now Kensuke was thinking about it.

How he’d gone after the kid. How his presence had shaken the kid so much he’d broken his chin on the ground like a sacrifice to an altar. _It reminds me of—_

 _Don’t **worry** about it, _Kensuke told himself forcefully. He took an extra aggressive bite of his sandwich, though the cheese and pickles inside of it were long turning his stomach.

Reminding him about the way he thought about his father.

The sandwich crumpled in his hand into disgusting mush.

 _Fuck._    

**Author's Note:**

> Hint hint^^ 
> 
> Hey all! I'm legit curious whether anyone will read this, so if you are, please pop in to the comment section and say hello. Also, sorry for Hana's characterization here. She's just so fun to tease! I had to do it!
> 
> Oh, and pairings are undecided for everyone. Since they won't be a huge part of the fic, I'm totally up to just about everything, just say the word.


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